Warning: Fatal error has occurred, you will now be killed.
Book Quotes
Home | 397 and Counting | About Me | Acknowledgements | The Alphabet | Family | Friends | Hero of the Day | Jokes | Latest News | Links | Me | No Offense | OWNed | Poetry | Quotes | Scared? | Updates | Wishlist

Quotes from various books.

  • "Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces...ugh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!" (Calvin)~Calvin and Hobbes
  • "Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue." ~"Hamlet" by William Shakespeare
  • "We do not grieve for those who fulfill their purpose in life. We have fulfilled our purpose, my friend. Who knows how many lives we have touched? Who knows but that this hope will lead to a great victory? For us, it seems, the battle has ended. So be it. We lay down our swords only that others may pick them up and fight on." (Riverwind)~ Dragons of Spring Dawning by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "We have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us." ~"The Monomyth" by Joseph Campbell
  • "We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our little life is rounded with a sleep." ~The Tempest (Act IV, Scene I)
  • "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come." (Julius Caesar) ~The Tragedy of Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
  • "Men at some time are masters of their fates: the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings." (Caius Cassius) ~The Tragedy of Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
  • "A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anateuka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask, why do we stay up here if it's so dangerous? We stay because Anateuka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in a word-tradition!" (Tevye) ~"Fiddler on the Roof"
  • "Whoso pulleth outa this swerd of this stone and anvyld is rightwys kynge borne of all Brytagne." (Inscription on the Stone) ~"Sword in the Stone"
  • "When beggars die, there are no comets seen; the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes." (Calphurnia Caesar) ~The Tragedy of Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
  • "You mean there's a catch?" "Sure there's a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy. There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to." Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. "It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed. (Conversation between Doc Daneeka and Yossarian) ~Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
  • "Raistlin! I-plooey!" Tas spit out the green leaf. "Yick! What kind of nasty thing was that? And how did it get into my mouth?" Tas sat up dizzily then he saw his pouches. "Hey! Who's been messing with my stuff?" Glancing up at the mage accusingly, his eyes opened wide. "Raistlin! You have on Black Robes! How wonderful! Can I touch them? Oh, all right. You needn't glare at me like that. It's just that they look so soft. Say, does that mean you're truly bad now? Can you do something evil for me, so I can watch? I know! I saw a wizard summon a demon once. Could you do that? Just a small demon? You could send him right back. No?" Tas sighed in disappointment. "Well-hey, Caramon, what are those draconians doing with you? And what's the matter with Tika? Oh, Caramon, I-" (Tasslehoff Burrfoot) ~Dragons of Spring Dawning by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "It is red like the fires of his forge," the old man said, gazing at it. "It is red like the sparks that fly from his hammer as it shapes the molten world resting on his anvil. Beside the forge of Reorx is a tree of surpassing beauty, the like of which no living being has ever seen. Beneath that tree sits a grumbling old dwarf, relaxing after many labors. A mug of cold ale stands beside him, the fire of his forge is warm upon his bones. He spends all day lounging beneath the tree, carving and shaping the wood he loves. And every day someone who comes past that beautiful tree starts to sit down beside him. Looking at them in disgust, the dwarf glowers at them so sternly that they quickly get to their feet again. 'This place is saved,' the dwarf grumbles. 'There's a lame-brained doorknob of a kender out adventuring somewhere, getting himself and those unfortunate enough to be with him into no end of trouble. Mark my words, one day he'll show up here and he'll admire my tree and he'll say, "Flint, I'm tired. I think I'll rest awhile here with you." Then he'll sit down and he'll say, "Flint, have you heard about my latest adventure? Well, there was this black-robed wizard and his brother and me and we went on a journey through time and the most wonderful things happened--" and I'll have to listen to some wild tale,' and so he grumbles on. Those who would sit beneath the tree hide their smiles and leave him in peace." (Paladine) ~Dragons of Spring Dawning by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "We went in search of the true gods, that was our goal. But, looking back on it, I realize now that we really went in search of ourselves." (Caramon Majere) ~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "Evil is no faceless stranger, living in a distant neighborhood. Evil has a wholesome, hometown face, with merry eyes and an open smile. Evil walks among us, wearing a mask which looks like all our faces." ~The Book of Counted Sorrows by Chazel **See note at bottom of page.
  • "You shot her!" (night hag) "So happy you noticed." (Merry Gentry) ~A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "The second someone starts a curse, I'll shoot her through the face." (Merry Gentry) "It won't kill me." (Lady Grey) "No, but it won't help your looks either." (Merry) "Bitch." (Grey) "Ditto." (Merry) ~A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I promise to throw myself ontop of you at the first hint of danger. In fact, with your permission I'll throw myself ontop of your body at every opportunity." (Rhys) ~A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I mean that if you kill Galen, that won't get you a place in my bed. I don't like you, Conri. You don't like me. So sit down, shut up, and let someone talk who has a chance in hell of sharing my bed." (Merry Gentry) ~A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Closing your ears won't shut truth's mouth." (Elven Proverb) ~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "A chicken with its neck wrung is different from a chicken with its head cut off, but does it matter to the chicken?" (Tasslehoff Burrfoot) ~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "It was a mistake anyone could make, I keep telling you!-I intended to grab her mugs. She was what you might call a buxom girl and when she leaned over me holding the tray, I wasn't exactly paying attention to what I was doing." (Sturm Majere) ~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "I don't tumble for every 'buxom' blonde who jiggles in my direction." (Palin Majere) ~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "Give men your ear, but not your heart. Show respect to those in power, but don't follow them blindly. Judge with logic and reason, but comment not." (Garrow) ~Eragon by Christopher Paolini
  • "One may be a free man and yet be bound tighter than a slave." (Garrow) ~Eragon by Christopher Paolini
  • "Nothing is more dangerous than an enemy with nothing to lose." (Eragon) ~Eragon by Christopher Paolini
  • "I didn't think I would ever meet a noble who wasn't corrupt. Now that I have, I find that I prefer them when they're greedy bastards." (Brom) ~Eragon by Christopher Paolini
  • "With no dreams, I found that words like hope and faith were only letters, randomly put together into something meaningless-words only for fairy tales. (David Pelzer) ~A Child Called "It" by David Pelzer
  • "The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living." (Eragon Shadeslayer) ~Eldest by Christopher Paolini
  • "If any honor existed in war, it was fighting to protect others from harm." (Eragon Shadeslayer) ~Eldest by Christopher Paolini
  • "And you chastized me once for drinking! If I consumed four barrels, it would kill me!" (Eragon Shadeslayer) "That's why you're not a dragon." (Saphira) ~Eldest by Christopher Paolini
  • "When I eat a biscuit, it stays eaten." (Arthur Dent)~So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
  • "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it wil instantly disappear nd be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened." (Narrator)~The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams
  • "Listen" (Ford Prefect) "But I can't speak Vogon!" (Arthur Dent) "You don't need to. Just put this fish in your ear. (Ford)~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
  • "Well, if we're lucky it's just the Vogons come to throw us into space." (Ford Prefect) "And if we're unlucky?" (Arthur Dent) "If we're unlucky the captain might be serious in his threat that he's going to read us some of his poetry first..." (Ford)~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
  • "It seemed to me that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane." (Wonko the Sane)~So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
  • (When asked "Do you worship Satan?") "I wouldn't be that stupid. It is the major religions of this world that play with Satan, not us. You are trying to equate my religion to yours, and that's not fair." (Some teenage girl)~Solitary Witch by Silver Ravenwolf
  • One Wiccan teen, standing at the threshold of a Protestant church on Girl scout Sunday, said, "I can't go in there." When her mother asked her why not, she replied, "Because if the people who go to this church every Sunday knew the amount of blood spilled and horrors done over the last 2,000 years so that this church could stand here, I would like to think that they wouldn't go in either. I can't go in a place that tells me they are preaching the truth, when they are lying through their teeth about their own history." (Narrator)~Solitary Witch by Silver Ravenwolf
  • "And sometimes a proud old soldier who had heard songs of the ancient heroes and could sing them all through, story after story would weave a net of words for Beowulf's victory, tying the knot og his verses smoothly, swiftly into place with a poet's quick skill, singing his new song aloud while he shaped it, and the old songs as well. ~From Beowulf
  • "The purpose of having the sun go low in the evenings in the summer, especially in parks, is to make girls' breasts bob up and down more clearly to the eye." (Man)~So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
  • "Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you." (Old Man)~So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
  • As a result of this, all telephone operators were granted a constitutional right to say, "Use BS&S and die!" at least once an hour when answering the phone. (Narrator)~So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
  • "But each seeks his own love, you know that. Would you have everyone else equally mad for her?" (Lady Juliana)~The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice
  • "A month later, a gnome army arrived at Castle Gargath with a huge, steam-powered seige engine. It reached the wall of the castle, but broke down just short of it's goal. The gnomes retreated with heavy losses. Two months later the gnomes returned with an even larger steam-powered siege engine. This engine plowed into the first, caught fire, and burned. The gnomes retreated with even heavier losses. Three months later, the gnomes were back with a humongous, steam-powered siege engine. It lumbered over the ashes of the first two siege engines and was thundering toward the wall when the drive mechanism broke down. The engine, with a mighty groan, toppled over on its side, smashing down the wall." (Palin Majere)~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "Maybe we could break the mirrors." (Tanin Majere) "I wouldn't, the thing's likely to blow up." (Dougan Redhammer) "You mean it's trapped?" (Sturm Majere) "No! I mean it's made by gnomes. It's likely to blow up." (Dougan Redhammer)~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "But I don't want to flay the skin from their bones." the dragon wimpered~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "You open it" (Tasslehoff Burrfoot) "Me? Why me?" (Usha Majere) "Because I have to stand here boldly holding the spoon." (Tasslehoff Burrfoot)~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "If kender were gods, the world would certainly be an interesting place. Though none of us would ever be able to find anything in it." (Narrator)~The Second Generation by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
  • "Symbologists often remarked that France - a country renowned for machismo, womanizing, and diminutive insecure leaders like Napoleon and Pepin the short - could not have chosen a more apt national emblem than a thousand-foot phallus." (Narrator)~The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
  • "These books can't possibly compete with centuries of established history, especially when that history is endorsed by the ultimate best seller of all time." (Robert Langdon) "Don't tell me Harry Potter is actually about the Holy Grail." (Jonas Faukman) "I was referring to the bible." (R.L.) "I knew that." (J.F.)~The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
  • "The more penises you have, the higher your rank." (Sir Leigh Teabing)~The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
  • "My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow." (Sir Leigh Teabing)~The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
  • "I felt strangely light and empty, and I windered if this was what it was like to be crazy. It didn't feel too bad. Later, when the shock wore off, I'd feel worse. Later, I'd wonder if there had been another way to get Thompson to talk. Later, I'd remember that I wanted to hurt him, wanted him to crawl and beg. That I wanted to take all the hurt that had happened to Charlotte and Daniel and carve it out of his flesh. Now we had to go rescue Daniel and Charlotte. Oh, one last thing. Thompson was screaming, high and piteously, like a wounded rabbit. I shot him in the head. The screaming stopped." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "You're this pretty little thing. You shouldn't be chopping people's fingers off." (Patrick)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "No private detective looks like a private detective. That's one of the first rules of private detection." (Dirk Gently) "But if no private detective looks like a private detective, how does a private detective know what it is he's supposed not to look like? Seems to me there's a problem there." (Sally Mills)~The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
  • "If you're going to hang around out here all night I may as well just get straight on with killing myself now and let you get your own tea when you're quite ready." (Tsuliwaënsis)~The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
  • "And this is the knife I was thinking of usin, you see. Just been sharpening it up nicely, you see. It comes up very nice if you get a nice sweeping action with the stone, and I was thinking here would be a good place, you see? Here on the wall, I can stick the handle in this crack so it's held nice and firm, and then just go fling! And fling myself at it. Fling!" (Tsuliwaënsis)~The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
  • "What she said was that she's already dead, that she's always been dead, and that she just didn't want to pretend to be alive any longer." (Dr. Hartman)~Darkness by John Saul
  • "At these prices you should bring the cow out and have a ritual sacrifice at the table." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I haven't killed anyone in over 6 weeks-hell, nearly seven. I'm cutting down." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I'd managed to keep my feet through vampires, shapeshifters, human servants, and arsonists, but a pair of high heals had set me back on my ass." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Deviating from the rules is what lets eight-year-old kids blow the heads off their babysitters." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "If he really wanted to win the wat, all he had to do was strip. I'd have put up a white flag and applauded." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "If all you have is a hammer, Anita, every problem begins to looks like a nail." (Dolph)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Selfdoubt is a self-fulfilling prophecy." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Real crying is like real sex. If you really do it, it isn't pretty." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "The fear that overwhelms you in the midst of an emergency can call power almost without effort. This was the kind of fear that keeps you from jumping out of perfectly good airplanes even though you'd decided to do it." (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Asher needs to feed. It is within the rules for him to feed off of you, Anita. He would prefer to sink somethink else into you, but he will have to be content with fangs." (The Traveler)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Can a walking corpse hold the keys to my heart? No. Yes. Maybe. How the hell should I know?" (Anita Blake)~Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." (Anita Blake)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I want to do the wicked dance before you leave." (Jean-Claude)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "I can enter every orifice of your body with every part of me, but you refuse me the last bit of yourself." (Jean-Claude)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "You are a solid, cast-iron, ball-busting bitch." (Verne)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Real sex was messy. Good sex was messier." (Anita Blake)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Trolls were the first protected species in America. The Greater Smokey Mountain Troll was not protected. It was hunted to extinction, but then, it pulled up large trees and beat the tourists to death and sucked the marrow from their bones. Hard to get good press that way." (Anita Blake)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Victims become an 'it' very quickly, because sometimes it's too horrible even to say, 'he,' or 'she.' When you're scraping pieces of someone's loved one off your hands, it has to be an 'it.' Has to be, or you run screaming. So, I was covered in black, greenish it." (Anita Blake)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Anita is not human. Through us she is more than that. Both of us huddle around her humanity like it is the last candle flame in a world of darkness. But by our very love, we make her less human, and more. (Jean-Claude)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Money doesn't spend in hell. The devil deals in a different coin." (Anita Blake)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Niley said they'd cut me open and make me eat my own intestines. Says he did it once in miami. I believe him." (Thompson)~Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • "Some women, Commander Norton had decided long ago, should not be allowed aboard ship; weightlessness did things to their breasts that were too damn distracting. It was bad enough when they were motionless; but when they started to move, and sympathetic vibrations ser in, it was more than any warm-blooded male should be asked to take. He was quite sure that at least one serious space accident had been caused by acute crew distraction, after the transit of a well-upholstered lady officer through the control cabin." (Narrator)~Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C. Clarke

The Book of Counted Sorrows is not a real book, Chazel is not a real person. Both this book and this author are creations of Dean Koontz. He has alleged that once he has created enough excerpts from this book, he may write it just to have them all in one place.