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- A Christian - You have two cows, you keep one and give one to your neighbor.
- A Socialist - You have two cows, the government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
- A Republican - You have two cows, your neighbor has none. So what?
- A Democrat - You have two cows, your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote
people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then
take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
- A Communist - You have two cows, the government seizes both and provides you with milk.
- A Fascist - You have two cows, the government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground
and start a campaign of sabotage.
- American Democracy - You have two cows, the government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to
support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
- American Capitalism - You have two cows, you sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
- American Bureaucracy - You have two cows, the government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
- An American Corporation - You have two cows, you sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
- A French Corporation - You have two cows, you go on strike because you want three cows.
- A Japanese Corporation - You have two cows, you redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
- A German Corporation - You have two cows, you reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month and milk themselves.
- An Italian Corporation - You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
- A Russian Corporation - You have two cows, you count them and learn you have five cows. You count them
again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have twelve cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
- A Mexican Corporation - You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take
a nap.
- A Swiss Corporation - You have five thousand cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing
them for others.
- A Brazilian Corporation - You have two cows, you enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have one thousand cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
- An Indian Corporation - You have two cows, you worship them.
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